the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
