I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
