And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
