the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
