Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
