Swine flu is the new snow day.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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