its not stalking. its research.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
