I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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