do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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