Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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