We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
