do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
