I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's blow job season.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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