Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i out mim tonsoeep
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