If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
