just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Its about making memories worth repressing
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
