I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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