just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
