We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
