Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
