i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.