take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.