I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were