Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.