its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
