I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize