I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
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I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize