true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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