I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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