I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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