Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
So many bounce houses so little time
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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