I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize