OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Let's get the cat blown out
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
