apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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