I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
barbara walters just said penis...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Randomize
