just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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