Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
