She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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