She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
