I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
