I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
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if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
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You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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