so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think I am morally bankrupt
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize