I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Your cock deserves a montage
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
