i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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