I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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