Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
