To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
