Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
vagina is talking i cant
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
