I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
They took my balls.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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