Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dignity is for republicans.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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