you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think your dad took our porno
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
