I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
