so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So squirting runs in the family.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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