party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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