I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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