i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
