No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
im holly from the hills drunk
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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