i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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