I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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