I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
