I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
