He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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