please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
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Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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