Moan for me like Helen Keller
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I have post one night stand depression
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