just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize