Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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