ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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