I didn't shave. On purpose
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
